The Naira-Dollar blues by Reuben Abati

“My brother, e ku exchange rate oh. ” “Excuse me?” “I am greeting you. I am saying how are you and the exchange rate palaver. The dollar wahala”. “So, that is why you are saying e ku exchange rate. Is something wrong with you Yoruba people? Must you turn everything into a form of greeting?” “You are insulting me?” “I am making a statement” “Meaning?” “Any serious matter at all, you and your people must turn it into something else. E ku exchange rate? What kind of greeting is that? Yoruba will say e ku election, e ku democracy, e ku change, e ku ana, e ku gbogbo e, gbogbo e, e ku democracy. I am tired of answering you people and your cynical greetings.” “The people don’t mean any harm.” “That was how somebody came to me the other day and said e ku Mecca, Medina, e ku Qatar. I felt like slapping the guy.” “Ha.” “I don’t like hypocrites.” “Would you have felt better...